Still very, very sick.

I have lots of personal stuff to talk about but none of it is interesting to anyone but me.

On a political note, Bush has managed to turn the NSA spying thing into a political war. That tact works so well for him. What I can't seem to get my head around is how Republicans can be for this. Not NSA wiretaps per se, even I'm for them provided that they're used against bona fide terrorists with a warrant. I'm talking about warrantless taps. That should scare conservatives silly.

I went through some old newsgroups posts. Conservatives were screaming about attempts by Clinton to expand wiretapping capability legally.

What I wonder is how likely (or unlikely?) is it that terrorists weren't the only ones on that list?

I could go on for hours about this subject. I won't. I'm going to bed.

Latest show is up.

Last night a DJ saved my life.

No. Seriously.

Stayed home sick. Slept all day. That was nice. Boss didn't even get mad at me. Probably because it's been a while since I've called in sick.

This is going to be the most boring post ever. I'm only doing it because I never post anymore. =)

Umm. House of Greasa^M^M^M^M^M^MPizza lived up to its name today.

Hm. What else. Working on the latest podcast. Bush is now spying on Americans. Says he's going to keep doing it, too. Says Congress gave him the authority when they gave him the OK to use military force in Afghanistan. ...

What?

It's both complex and not very complex but even the Republicans are looking at this one a bit cockeyed. But if you're not into deep political scandal, try this on for size.

I have a coworker that is an idiot. He has a habit of making stunningly inappropriate remarks to the customers. Like telling "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" jokes and commenting on which parts of his body do and do not have hair.

We've dubbed him Leisure Suit Larry. Which he'd look like if Leisure Suit Larry had Phil Specter's head.

The new mouse has the largest eyes I've ever seen on one.

The old fish really could use a new filter.

Apparently, me drinking a whole bottle of wine has become a sort of holiday tradition in this house. I'm expected to perform again next week.

The ferret needs a new home.

And I need some sleep.

Latest show is up.

A look at the United States policy of "extraordinary rendition" (aka: outsourcing torture).

This is your country, kids.

Who Would Jesus Torture?

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Work has been pretty boring. Picking up a bit. This will be my first decent paycheck in a very, very long time. Plus a few private repair jobs kicking around. I plan on getting some winter clothes, squaring away my Christmas gifts (yes, I'm getting gifts for a very small number of people) and I even suspect I'll have some left over to pay bills.

If only it were like this all the time.

Ella got a new job. She didn't just get a new job, she got a good job. Which has me feeling like a bit of an asshat. Her job is better than mine. And she's a girl.

*dives for cover.

Tank is making a serious bid for the House Mouser belt. Two this week.

Most of my spare time has been spent working on my radio/podcast show. Twenty hours or so invested just in collating data for the latest one; Extraordinary Rendition. McCain introduced an amendment to the defense spending bill which would require -- get this -- that we make it illegal to outsource torture to other countries. Ninety senators voted for it. Nine did not.

I'm not sure which is more amazing; that ninety senators agreed on something or that nine senators think it's a bad idea. Bush says he'll veto it.

But we don't do torture.

So yeah. Spending three days reading up on the finer points on how and when our government has systematically and repeatedly drowned innocent people to within an inch of their life without any court oversight can really take a guy's spirts down a peg.

But other than that, not so bad.

is it asking too much to be given time
to know these songs and to sing them
is it asking too much of my vacant smile
and my laugh and lies that bring them

as the stars are going out
and this stage is full of nothing
and the friends have all but gone
for my life my god I'm singing

     Lacuna Coil ("Stars")

(to, for and about a peson who will never read this)

Latest show is up.

I had a dream last night that I met Jeanine Garofalo and she had a crush on me.

I won't go into the sordid details but suffice it to say [in voice of Simpsons Comic Book Guy], "Best. Dream. Ever."

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.

But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-O and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

     - Penn Gillette

December 26, 2005 | Discrimination by Pregnancy

A short one.

Catholic League vs. ACLU in Firing of Unwed Pregnant Teacher.

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November 24, 2005 | On 9/21/01, CIA Tells Bush No Saddam-al Queda Connection

Best show to date. File size dropped dramatically (6MB) and it still sounds great.

This one is a bombshell, folks. What remains of the Bush presidency just got nuked by his own lies catching up with him.

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Ella visit -> cheeb
cheeb -> munchies
munchies -> walk dog to store
walk dog to store -> raining
raining -> rain jacket
rain jacket -> rain jacket pockets
rain jacket pockets -> lost MP3 player

Ella visit == find lost MP3 player

Ella, thanks 2x!!!

So Kim (an ex) and her husband are camping the Best Buy in [forget the town] waiting for the NEW XBox 360° which, honest to god, I had no idea was being released yet. To me, anyone but Playstation is an also-ran because I'm a Huge Console Snob.

But anyway, she's been waiting since 9:00AM this MORNING. The store begins selling them TOMORROW morning. She and he are trading shifts waiting for this thing. Kimberly is living my dream. Not because she's going to get an XBox. Because of all the customers she's getting to fuck with.

Person: You're all waiting for the XBox?
Kim: Oh shit, this isn't Harry Potter???" [then running off]

Person: What are you waiting for?
Kim: The rapture.

(this is the best one if you actually know Kim.)

Person: You're all gonna get it?
Kim: Well, in a metaphysical sense, yes.

Latest podcast is up. Now Available In Minty MP3 Flavor Too!

The weekend show is done. Took less time, came out even better. w00t.

Unfortunately SwitchPod is having some issues right now but hopefully they're cleared up before the morning comes.

2005-11-19
Republican ChickenHawks Stonewalling Iraq Withdrawl Deadline

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My choice of music is genius, I tell you.

...and I'm modest, too! =) *ducking

I finally published my first podcast. The subject is U.S. military use of white phosphorus on civilians in Fallujah, Iraq.

This is what I learned.

1) It takes a Long Fucking Time to do something that doesn't sound like shit. I spent eight hours on this one.

2) My "brief notes" can get way out of hand. In fact my "brief note" turned into a 16-ish minute show.

Everyone is encouraged to listen. Nobody is required. But if there is feedback, lemmie have it. Good, bad and ugly.

Ella, you'll laugh.

Will Jason be publishing a weekly/semi-weekly/daily podcast? Maybe.

Will Jason stop chewing tobacco because it's bugging his mouth? Maybe.

Has Jason quit smoking? Yes.

Is Bush still a fucking idiot? You know it.

Does Jason want to have Jeanine Garafolo's babies? Ah, that one probably went without saying.

Is Jason beginning to forget what weed tastes like? Sadly, yes.

Though it kills me, and I'd love to be able to nail Bush's balls to the wall for Yet One More Lie, I am beginning to have serious doubts about the RAI documentary cited in a previous post.

See here.

It appears that a white phosphorus round is not really designed to work in the way it is alleged. If anyone finds a technical, disinterested (scientist?) analysis of whether white phosphorus could be used in a manner consistent with the allegation, PLEASE email me.

This is Really Bad Fucking News.

US forces 'used chemical weapons' during assault on city of Fallujah

By Peter Popham
Published: 08 November 2005

Powerful new evidence emerged yesterday that the United States dropped massive quantities of white phosphorus on the Iraqi city of Fallujah during the attack on the city in November 2004, killing insurgents and civilians with the appalling burns that are the signature of this weapon.

Ever since the assault, which went unreported by any Western journalists, rumours have swirled that the Americans used chemical weapons on the city.

On 10 November last year, the Islam Online website wrote: "US troops are reportedly using chemical weapons and poisonous gas in its large-scale offensive on the Iraqi resistance bastion of Fallujah, a grim reminder of Saddam Hussein's alleged gassing of the Kurds in 1988."

The website quoted insurgent sources as saying: "The US occupation troops are gassing resistance fighters and confronting them with internationally banned chemical weapons."

In December the US government formally denied the reports, describing them as "widespread myths". "Some news accounts have claimed that US forces have used 'outlawed' phosphorus shells in Fallujah," the USinfo website said. "Phosphorus shells are not outlawed. US forces have used them very sparingly in Fallujah, for illumination purposes.

"They were fired into the air to illuminate enemy positions at night, not at enemy fighters."

But now new information has surfaced, including hideous photographs and videos and interviews with American soldiers who took part in the Fallujah attack, which provides graphic proof that phosphorus shells were widely deployed in the city as a weapon.

In a documentary to be broadcast by RAI, the Italian state broadcaster, this morning, a former American soldier who fought at Fallujah says: "I heard the order to pay attention because they were going to use white phosphorus on Fallujah. In military jargon it's known as Willy Pete.

"Phosphorus burns bodies, in fact it melts the flesh all the way down to the bone ... I saw the burned bodies of women and children. Phosphorus explodes and forms a cloud. Anyone within a radius of 150 metres is done for."

Photographs on the website of RaiTG24, the broadcaster's 24-hours news channel, www.rainews24.it, show exactly what the former soldier means. Provided by the Studies Centre of Human Rights in Fallujah, dozens of high-quality, colour close-ups show bodies of Fallujah residents, some still in their beds, whose clothes remain largely intact but whose skin has been dissolved or caramelised or turned the consistency of leather by the shells.

A biologist in Fallujah, Mohamad Tareq, interviewed for the film, says: "A rain of fire fell on the city, the people struck by this multi-coloured substance started to burn, we found people dead with strange wounds, the bodies burned but the clothes intact."

The documentary, entitled Fallujah: the Hidden Massacre, also provides what it claims is clinching evidence that incendiary bombs known as Mark 77, a new, improved form of napalm, was used in the attack on Fallujah, in breach of the UN Convention on Certain Conventional Weapons of 1980, which only allows its use against military targets.

Meanwhile, five US soldiers from the elite 75th Ranger Regiment have been charged with kicking and punching detainees in Iraq.

The news came as a suicide car bomber killed four American soldiers at a checkpoint south of Baghdad yesterday.

Not sure which I fear more. This hitting the news or this not hitting the news.

[update]

I found video. It's not for the squeamish.

So all you patriotic Bush supporters, enjoy. We finally found the WMD.

Ok. Now I'm listening to Meet the Press. Holy shit.

It's like Kennedy says "bullshit bullshit bullshit" and then a Republican whose name I can't remember and he says "bullshit bullshit bullshit" but then they move on to the subject of financial responsibility and it was pure rat-fleeing-a-sinking-ship.

Bush is fucked. I'm convinced. I've never, in my life, seen a political exodus like this. I'm too young to really remember much about Carter but I'm guessing it was less acrimoneous.

So I'm stoned and listening to NPR when they introduce an economist. This post is not about the story. It's about the name of the economist:

Hugh Johnson. [bio]

Imagine growing up with a name like that. No wonder he's economist. I'd want the most impersonal job in the world too if my name was phoenetically equivalent to "Huge Johnson."

Heard on The Majority Report: "Are you a Republican? A conservative? A dumbass?"

Yep. Just found my favorite podcast.

You know, it occured to me that there might be a silver lining in the litany of Republican investigations and indictments. For them, I mean.

We have DeLay's multiple ethical investigations, Abramoff's fundraising peccadilloes, the cloud still lingering over Rove, Libby's indictment stemming from his obstruction of justice in the Plame leak case, Mike "Brownie" Brown stressing about how far his sleeves should be rolled up to appear hard at work while Lousiana burned drowned, Rumsfeld and Cheney pushing hard to allow an excemption to torture prisoners not to mention an AVALANCHE of evidence that Bush ignored his own intelligence agencies and lied to get the country into a war to the tune of billions of dollars and thousands of lives.

And those are just the big stories. The National News ones.

Without getting too far off my rails here, in what universe does anyone get to invade a country by invoking the spectre of a despot who tortures enemies while simultaneously fighting to allow torture of their enemies? How does this administration have the support of even a single Christian? Of anyone at all with a moral or ethical bone in their bodies?

Where was I? Oh yeah. The silver lining.

These days you can throw a suvlaki sandwich into any crowd and hit a conservative under an ethics investigation. So if you've been abusing your trusted position, fucking over your constituents to line your own pockets while presenting yourself as a god-fearing, bible-reading family man, shoot, might as well get indicted now.

Who is going to notice?

I read and listen to news pretty much all day long, almost exclusively political stuff, and for the life of me I can't keep straight who is being investigated for what.

And this is the party that erupted in moralistic rage when Clinton got his dick sucked. What a joke.

I was going to post something political, something about what a shitbag Scott McClellan is, but this is better.



I didn't take it, my pics are still with my boss. Expect more on Monday.

I noticed yesterday that the Windows XP System Monitor was AWOL. Just gone. That is usually a Bad Thing. Then a series of crashes, I said "fuck that" and re-installed my OS.

Now I'm all pimped out with protection. That's what I get for going to an orgy without a rubber. Internet-ly speaking, of course.

Had some sixteen year old mack on me. Cute, too. I know you're skeptical. I was too but her line involved handing me her phone and saying "put your number in here."

"Come back in five minutes."
"You'll give me your number then?"
"Well, no, but I'm busy right now and it's fun to watch you try."

Yes, I really did say that. Sixteen. What is this world coming to?

Speaking of which...

My daughter -- all of eleven -- corrected my pronounciation of "Fiddy." As in "Fiddy Cent." She said pronouncing it "fifty" was for not only incorrect but a neon sign of one's whiteness.

I politely explained that affectation isn't culture and besides, if she was any more white she'd be clear.

She was not amused.

I'm beginning to sound like my fucking grandparents. There is a certain delicious irony in my country-music-loving daughter explaining hip-hop nuance to me.

Discovered something called Talk of the Nation on NPR. I can't remember the last time I spent a half-hour listening/watching the news and feeling like I was any wiser because of it. The show is awesome.

Now I know how fucked we are with the imminent avian flu pandemic. While it would be disingenuous to blame Bush, I can't help but think, "jesus, imagine if we'd spent a quarter of the money we've blown on a needless war on accelerating our readiness for this pending disaster?"

So I found myself wide awake at like 5AM. Decided to take a short walk to the local convenience store for no good reason at all. Just because it's there. About five steps out of my door I had an epiphany; why not watch the sun rise over the ocean from a rock outcropping?

Bad fucking idea.

It's cold. I know it isn't half of what outside will be like in two months but it's still fucking cold. The dog, bless his little fur-lined nuts, had a blast.

The fact that I hate cold as much as I do and still live in New England is a sort of testament to my stupidity.

Speaking of which, I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you take the dog for a walk? Granted, I don't have him on a leash but who the christ is going to be outside at 5:30AM?" Every local with a dog, that's who.

On an entirely unrelated note, hopefully I'll be publishing a song before November is out.

Alito, Bush's newest pick for a lifetime appointment on the U.S. Supreme court, is being hailed as a centrist, a judge well within mainstream America's thinking. As I mentioned earlier, Bush consulted with some private interest, anti-abortion groups (but not Democrats) prior to nominating Alito.

The point of a Supreme Court Justice is someone who looks at the Constitution and lays down the law based upon it. The role of the Justice is leave their own religious and political opinions at the door.

As an aside, I know it's popular to claim that this country is founded upon religious Christian principles and so theistic interpolation of opinion is fair game. Maybe that would fly if more than three of the Ten Commandments was enshrined in law. And the biggest commandment of all -- thou shalt have no other gods before me -- isn't one of them.

But I digress.

Part of that role is the fundamental notion that legal precedence has massive influence on the Supreme Court. You'll recall that Roe v. Wade enjoys 30 years of it. It's settled law.

So instead of listening to the talking points of the GOP, what do the private interest groups Bush consulted have to say about Alito?

James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family Action, said he was "extremely pleased," and the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue declared that the country was on "the fast-track to derailing Roe v. Wade as the law of the land."

Bush spent the weekend at Camp David huddled with Miers, who remains his White House counsel and is therefore in charge of the judicial selection process, along with Chief of Staff Andrew H. Card Jr., who originally advocated Miers as the choice to replace retiring Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. As the three talked, White House officials contacted prominent conservatives to test the reaction to various candidates.

One group consulted was the Concerned Women for America, whose decision to oppose Miers last Wednesday became one of the final blows to help kill the nomination. Janet M. LaRue, the group's chief counsel, said it received a call from the White House on Saturday and liked what it heard.

Thank GOD there's no litmus test.

Kimberly, my ex of a few years ago and subsequently married, is pregnant. Congrats, Kim!

The girl is a fundamentalist Christian. Which means this is (a) Wicked Fucking Important to her and (b) this is probably the first of many.

*ducking. (Already called first dibs on being the crazy stoner uncle.)

Ella, my ex of a few yess years ago, was just Friday night proposed to and accepted. Congrats, Ella!

I, your tireless word dangler, am still spending my weekends reading the Washington Post along with every blog that might have an opinion on what thay did or did not say.

Libby was indicted yesterday. Veep-creep Cheney chipped in on how important it is to not jump to conclusions.

"In our system of government an accused person is presumed innocent until a contrary finding is made by a jury after an opportunity to answer the charges and a full airing of the facts... Mr. Libby is entitled to that opportunity."

Funny, that's the same argument you reject in the case of Guantanamo Bay.

Caught my first snowflake on my tongue today. It was about the size of a half-dollar.

First, please do me a favor and watch this. It's a simple, blunt and concice (about two minutes) explanation on how the Rove-Plame CIA leak jeopardized whole swaths of undercover operations, the lives of individual agents and the willingness of agents to put themselves at considerable risk for this country.

What's amazing is that it's not an anti-Bush/Rove rant, it's just a brief breakdown of what all this means and why. No partisanship. Just raw facts.

Angelina Jolie says she wants more kids. Anyone have her publicists number? I want to help.

It seems Exxon -- you'll remember these folks not only as being providers of gas but destroyers and subsequent avoiders of the Alaskan coast -- has posted a quarterly (read; three-month) profit of 9.9 billion dollars. It's a corporate record. How is that possible? I thought all these price hikes were legtimate acts of passing on higher costs.

I mean, I knew that Bush was Big Energy's puppet. I just didn't realize how far they had their hand up our great leader's puckered asshole.

I actually had a few bucks to spend on clothes this week. Purchased some jeans. Some of you might remember me at a size 40. I was pushing 42 at one point. I bought 34's. They're a bit loose.

And Ella, don't fret. In the last three days I've had two coffee rolls, an untold amount of egg+cheese Dunks sammiches and enough candy corn to choke a mule. Trust me. I'm eating. =)

Some of you might remember when Clinton fucked an intern.

Getting laid -- even when you're married -- isn't a crime. But Clinton lied about it. And the right-wing lost their minds. Called it "High Crimes and Misdemeanors."

So what are we to make of Republicans trying to paint potential obstruction of justice and perjury charges as being a whole shitload to do about nothing?

"...if there is going to be an indictment that says something happened, that it is an indictment on a crime and not some perjury technicality..."

     - Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison (TX)

Hypocricy? Political near-sightedness? I like to think of it as chest-thumping, god-fearing conservatives just being themselves.

Because publically exposing an undercover CIA agent as one isn't that important to the health of the nation. But getting your dick sucked is. It has to do with character.

Oh, here is some interesting news. Studies seem to be showing that THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, counteracts the cancer-causing elements in smoked cannabis.

This is a four-parter. It was also written over the course of 36 hours, so bear with me.

(1) The Roman Catholic church held a synod consisting of 250 biships to shore up church policy on things like whether or not priests should be allowed to marry in order to shore up their dwindling numbers. "No."

They also discussed whether or not politicians could be denied communion if they support laws antiethical to the church.

But no blanket recommendation was made on whether the politicians should be denied Communion, with a final proposal saying local bishops "should exercise the virtues of firmness and prudence taking into account concrete local situations."

The issue gained attention during the 2004 presidential campaign when St. Louis Archbishop Raymond Burke said he would deny the Eucharist to Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry, a Catholic who supports abortion rights. Other church leaders said they were not comfortable denying Communion and the U.S. bishops' conference is studying the issue.

The concusion here is clear. If a politician answers to another government -- and Rome is a foreign government -- then they are unelectable. You either answer to the American people or you don't. If your ethical obligations prevent you from fulfilling that duty, then it prevents you from fulfilling that duty.

Transitive property. Learned that one around fifth grade.

(2) Some of you may have heard (and it's funny how many of you haven't) that Judy Miller, a New York Times reporter of considerable and dubious fame, was released from prison after her source in the Valerie Plame/Joe Wilson leak case sent her a letter indicating that she could reveal her source for the leak. That source happens to be "Scooter" Libby, Cheney's right-hand man.

Judy claimed she initially refused to testify about her source for the leak in front of a grand jury because she was not convinced Libby's previous lawyer-delivered 'you may reveal your source' offers were uncoerced. After eighty-five days in jail, Libby personally sent Judy another letter indicating he was OK with her testifying about the leak.

Just yesterday, in responding to her own editor's public and published lament that Judy had blurred the journalistic line by way of personal "entanglement" with Libby, Mrs. Miller insisted that her relationship with Libby was purely professional.

Here's where it gets interesting.

In his letter to the jailed Miller in which he released her from her journalistic obliation to protect her source, Libby felt it was relevant to note that all other journalists interviewed by special prosecutor Fitzpatrick had cleared his name.

Why would Libby feel the need to release Judy from her obligation to protect her source only to preface that release with the observation that nobody else had implicated him?

Even more cryptically, Libby added, "Out west, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them."

If Libby had written "the leaves will be changing color soon" who would have thought twice about it? But to talk about the root entanglement angle? Miller's roots are in Washington politics and have been for years. I'd buy it if she was hearing from a distant grandmother with a penchant for horticulture minutae. Not when it's an aside written by a highest-level White House figure under scrutiny and possible indictment to a reporter who apparently has information implicating the same.

For all the neocons rolling their eyes, would they be rolling if this was Clinton's administration?

If this doesn't qualify as a "keep your mouth shut, we're all in this together" code, what would?

Have I mentioned that Fitzpatrick, the special prosecutor, is a Bush appointee? Makes it a real bitch to paint him as a partisan hack with an agenda. Bush himself has commended Fitzpatrick for handling himself and this investigation professionaly.

Call me nuts but I read that bit of poetic license as "everyone else has kept their mouth shut and everything will work out just fine if you keep yours shut too."

(3) Speaking of which, every time I see a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker I coo "you're gonna be indicted." This is accompanied by a little dance.

I'm sure it looks very strange.

(4) Saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was good. No comparison to the original, though. But really they should have called it Michael Jackson Spends Every Scene Looking Alternately Confused, Bemused and Annoyed While Telling Four Very Annoying Kids To Fuck Off.

But if they did that you wouldn't have to see the movie.
_______

"Hey, swings! ... But it still sucks!"

            Ella

Saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I want to kiss whoever decided that them being shot at between stanzas of Girl from Impanea was a good idea.

Not deep by any stretch but yeah, loved it.

Oh, I completely forgot to credit Taylor with the crumbly bumbly definition post. That's all him.

I fucking hate it when people take credit for stuff that they didn't come up with. Don't want to be that guy. =)

Have you ever relied upon someone you know you shouldn't, did anyway, then regreted it? Again.

These lines are extracted from the IM log but not themselves edited in any way.

[18:13] bodhiFive: A friend of mine didn't realize that the screws on either side of a video monitor connector need to be unscrewed in order to remove the plug. She ripped the plug and some of the pins clean off the video card, which is attached to the motherboard. So I'm trying VERY hard to find a half-height agp or pci video card of pretty much any quality to get her going again. Whenever you have a sec.
[18:22] mike: I can give you a card but can't chat now.
[18:25] bodhiFive: Hm. Ok, well I can certainly pay you for it. I've been allocated $60 for the card itself. Just kick me when you have some time. Or email me, either or. MUCH appreciated.

Next day.

[14:37] mike: I'll have to dig up a card for you.
[14:37] mike: They're obselete.
[14:42] mike: I'll send what I can find.
[14:42] bodhiFive: Ok. Thanks Mike. Just please keep me informed because this person is a little impatient despite them being the knuckleheads that ripped out the video connector.

Next day.

[23:04] bodhiFive: You found one???
[23:06] mike: Yeah, I have one.

Later in the day.

[03:40] mike: What exactly is a "half-height" card?
[03:40] bodhiFive: Oh shit.

Then comes the patented 'sorry but it's really your fault,' followed up with the 'I'm pissed at you for accusing me of being unreliable' bit he's well-known for. And I mean REAL well-known. I pointed out his pattern of bullshit and he feigns ignorance. This is amusing because (a) he knows full well and if he didn't (b) he knows precisely who to ask and (c) the answer he'd get.

I remember having a sinking feeling in my stomach when I contemplated even asking him for help. Actually felt a little guilty about that when Mike said he found one and would definitely ship it the next day.

Now I feel guilty for being a chump and relying on him.

I've told him that any contact would need to be predicated on a real apology. This is for my sanity, not my ego. He's pathologically incapable of saying "I'm sorry." So there is no risk of falling for his bullshit again unless I forget.

Again.

This warms my cockles.

"I have a need to ...I wonder what it is. I think it's that you told me ...see, my father must have really instilled on me ...there's nothing worse than the lie. That's our generation. There's nothing worse than a lie, "just don't lie to me, do anything else..." ... So apparently my father wrapped it in solider than other people so when I see the lie ...I don't want it to be that way.

"You said that, do that."

     - Lenny Bruce

This is why I both love and hate politics.

[19:13] jameson: You know what makes me very happy
[19:14] jameson: It makes me happy that I can start buying whole seasons of Magnum PI on DVD
[19:15] bodhiFive: You are truly antiquiated.
[19:15] jameson: Dude, TV doesn't get any better
[19:15] bodhiFive: Yeah, and dance hasn't progressed as an art since Dannie Terrio tore up the small screen.

For all of you who felt that highschool just wasn't your speed despite being bright enough...

Seriously. Read that. And note who penned it.

Crumbly Bumbly ('krum-blee-buhm-blee) adj.: Having a state conducive to becoming crumbly. A thing can be called crumbly bumbly if it's degradation resembles that of cookies but can generally encompass any suitable baked good whose structure breaks down unrecoverably when low-to-moderate axial torque is applied.

Southwest Airlines decided to boot a woman and her husband from a flight because she refused to reverse her "Meet the Fuckers" t-shirt with a picture of Bush and Condoleeza Rice.

I've always been amazed at people who get hung up on language. Almost 2,000 dead, no problem, but "fucker?" That's gotta go.

I'm heading to West Virginia at some point in the near future. You can bet your ass I won't be flying SWA.

If you feel the same way, call their customer support number at 214-792-4223.

Tom DeLay, one week ago:
"My defense in this case will not be technical or legalistic. It will be categorical and absolute."

Tom DeLay, today:
"Mr. DeLay and his aides insisted that the weakness of the case was on full display on Monday when Mr. Earle sought the new money-laundering and conspiracy counts, after Mr. DeLay's lawyer had sought to have the original conspiracy charge dismissed. Mr. DeLay's argument was that the exchange of campaign money in question occurred in 2002 and that conspiracy was not made a part of the relevant criminal statute until 2003."

A legalistic defense keeps looking better and better every day, huh Tom?

But wait, there's more! The Associated Press reports:

DeLay was first charged with conspiracy to violate the state election code, which bans the direct use of corporate money for political campaigns. His lawyers filed court papers Monday attacking that charge on technical grounds.

You may have noticed a comment to a previous post from a person representing STOPTHEACLU.COM. He "skimmed" my entry, replied that I did a "good job" and then pimped his ridiculous blog.

(BTW, I strongly encourage everyone to head to this site. It's funnier than Lewis Black on a bender.)

Through a series of email exchanges this guy admits he didn't actually read my post before congratulating me. This goes a long way toward explaining his entire site, actually.

THEN this half-wit decides to add me to his email spam list, a practice even the most Jolt-addled AOL-connected script kiddie knows not to engage in.

Out of raw curiosity, I head back to his site to see if he's bitched about the exchange. Nothing about our exchange, but the top post is a blurb about a schoolmom who is upset that her son's Halloween celebrations are being tweaked in a perceived nod to political correctness.

The anti-ACLU guy, looking more like Larry Holmes than Sherlock Holmes every minute, starts bitching about how this is all the ACLU's fault.

So here it is.

Open Letter To a Fucking Idiot

The mom writes:
“Ok, obviously they’re trying to avoid an “establishment of religion.”

…and then she provides no proof whatsoever that this has ANYTHING to do with the ACLU and claims it’s “obviously” an avoidance of religious themes.

In nearly every case of Halloween activities being cancelled, it’s due to conservative, Republican Christians complaining about it's pagan themes. In fact I can’t think of a single exception.

There is this neato site called Google.com. Go there. Type in [Christians complain halloween]. 277,000 pages come up.

That you’ve managed to ignore every one of those instances and blame this one on the ACLU absent any supporting evidence that they’ve had anything to do with this WHATSOEVER is Yet Another Testament to your world-class idiocy.

You, sir, are a f*cking moron. Sure, you’ll delete this post, but it’s the kicked dog that yelps, eh?

Here’s an amazing idea — how about contacting the school yourself and asking what happened? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to be confused by the truth, but …I don’t know, maybe it would be a good idea to do more than play knee-jerk jester for the dozen or so folks who both read this site and jerk off to Ann Coulter.

Just a thought.

Jobs. Going back to school. Learning guitar, learning drums. Relationships.

Some fucking day I'll be good at something.

Chris Rock says white people say they'd vote for Colon Powel but they don't really mean it. I would. Because the guy has a conscience.

I've had about zero ambition for the last ...three week. It's wearing on me.

Smoking again. It's not hard to quit. Yeah, I can hear the laughter now but it's a hell of a weight control mechanism. I actually ate a 11oz roast beef sandwich the other day. Meat. THAT'S hard to quit. Cigarettes aren't shit.

It's already getting cold. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate cold. In fact I can't think of too many things I'd enjoy less than being cold for more than three or four minutes. I'd be out looking at the stars right now if it was warm.

I have two weeks of vacation accrued. Every day I think two things.

These two weeks have to last until September, so don't use them too soon.

You know, I could have had this entire week off.

Addendum - Sen. Orrin Hatch, a former LDS bishop who does not drink, has taken more money from wine, beer and liquor groups this year than any other congressional candidate.

Raise your hand if you're surprised.

Some of you may have heard that the ACLU sued the government for the release of video and still images of prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib. The ACLU won.

The government is pretty pissed. I happen to see O'Reilly simply losing his mind on Fox saying the decision was basically nothing more than a unvarnished appeasement of the carinal, radical left press. I shit you not.

Five days ago, Mr. Fair and Balanced himself said:

"The ACLU is also demanding that more pictures of the abuse at Abu Ghraib be released. The Defense Department is fighting that. Everybody knows those pictures incite violence against Americans. So why should more of them be fed to the press? We already know what happened at Abu Ghraib, and people are going to prison because of it. Clearly, more pictures of Abu Ghraib help the terrorists, as do Geneva Convention protections and civilian lawyers. So there is no question the ACLU and the judges who side with them are terror allies."

The irony of brownshirts destroying the republic in order to save it is delicious.

"What the Constituion forbids is any bar to a communication system. They want nobody to abridge a right to say it one time and one time to hear it. Nothin' in the middle. Nobody to tell you beforehand that this isn't too cool. Because the information makes the country strong. Because ...a knowledge of syphilis is not an instruction to get it. And only if the country can know about ...that's why the church and the state have to be seperated all the time. Because the church only wants a certain kind of information from their government. But since we have a lot of churches and a lot of different people in this country, we gotta know about all the bad, bad shit. The worst of everything, the knowledge of it to be protected against it. Because if you don't have the knowledge of it, and you just know about the good, and they just let the good come through, seep in through, what they think is good, you end up like Hilter.

      - Lenny Bruce, Berkely Show

A customer comes in, hands me an answering machine, box and all. "I need a power adapter for this."

No problem.

I open the box, remove the answering machine itself (because I'll need to insert some test plugs so I can get the right size connector) and walk over to the plug display. A few tries reveals he needs an M-plug but all of ours are right-angles. The body of the plug itself won't fit properly.

At this point the customer is right next to me. I point out the problem, hand him the device and leave him to dick around with it for a few minutes.

Maybe five minutes later the guy comes up to the counter. "Some guy walked off with one of the cardboard inserts and my phone cord. I'll need another."

Hm. That sucks. I go to log into a machine to ring him up and it occurs to me ...this guy wants me to give him the phone cord.

"I can't give it to you."
"You don't have a choice."
"Are you bonkers? The box and it's contents are your responsibility, not mine."
"You took posession of it."
"Yeah, because you handed it to me. I took out the device, put the box down and took posession of the answering machine. You'll notice that's sitting safely on the counter."
"I'm not leaving then."
"Maybe, but you're not getting a cord, end of story."

A co-worker wound up giving him a cord. I really didn't care if he got one, I just resented being blamed for it.

Would his argument have made any sense at all if we just didn't happen to sell phone cords? Suppose he brought in a garage door opener, says the batteries are dead. He hands it to me, I unscrew the thing, remove the batteries and walk to the battery spool. He decides to follow me and in the process someone accidentally takes his keys.

That's my fault??

Does this make any sense?

Oh, that pro-war march? The one the organizers said they were planning for 20,000?

Four hundred showed up. Ain't that a gas? So let's revisit our equation:

400 > 100,000     (t)rue (f)alse

"Moral obscurity" has a nice ring to it.

One sign on the mall read "Cindy Sheehan doesn't speak for me" and another "Arrest the traitors"; it listed Sheehan's name first among several people who have spoken against the war.

Just when you thought our country can't possibly have come to the point where speaking and disagreeing (in the same breath) is synonimous with being a traitor...

Melody Vigna, 44, of Linden, California, said she wants nothing to do with Sheehan and others at nearby Camp Casey, an anti-war site set up to honor her son, Casey, who was killed in Iraq. "Our troops are over there fighting for our rights, and if she was in one of those countries she would not be able to do that," Vigna said.

There's a novel idea.

Quick, somebody tell me what right I was able to keep thanks to the invasion of Iraq!

Right. Cheap access to oil and safe malls.

Grist, here's a mill. Mill, here's grist.

A hundred thousand protestors marched on the Whitehouse this weekend to protest the war.

Naturally there are going to be people who disagree and they've decided to stage a counter-march in support of the war. So far, so good.

But this is where it turns to shit.

The planned pro-war march is expected by it's own organizers, at best, to draw twenty thousand.

War supporters said the scale of the anti-war march didn't take away from their cause. "It's the silent majority," said 22-year-old Stephanie Grgurich of Leesburg, Virginia, who has a brother serving in Iraq.

No, bitch, it isn't.

If the anti-war movement managed to get 100,000 shiftless, dope-smoking, frisbee-throwing chiba monkeys to show up, and you only got one fifth as many SUV-driving oil addicts to support the war, then you are the "vocal minority."

If you doubt the claim, ask any third grader. Phrase it like this:

     20,000 > 100,000
     (t) (f)

You tried that "moral majority" bullshit back in the 80's. It was transparent then. It's doubly so now.

My paycheck was bigger than expected.

A client has been semi-placated, I picked up a simple web job for a few hundred.

Got a headhunter calling me out of the clear blue. Maybe I'll take the job but it would have to be pretty entertaining to warrant leaving where I am. Some weeks I make as much from the referrals I get from my coworkers as I do working there.

I don't think she knew what to use for a carrot on a person whose sole criteria for being interested in a job is how interesting the position is.

Now for the mice; Rick James was running on the wheel so fast that when Peaches tried to get on, she only caught the side and spent the next five very fast rotations hanging on to the edge by her fingernails, ass-out.

Ella came by today. I can't even remember the last time I was that happy to see someone or get a hug. Just riding around in her car was the best time I've had all week. And this has been a week of Good Things.

My days have been spent working my normal hours. It's a dirt-easy job that is over before I know it, generally. I come home, maybe catch a nap, maybe not. Head over to Taylor's, play Grand Turismo 3, play Go, get blazed, chat about anything and everything. Head home, watch some downloaded shows (Battlestar Galactica, Threshold, old Twilight Zone eps). Then I turn off all the lights except for the fish tank. Put on some Marley or Miles Davis, smoke a few Camels and fall asleep whenever I get tired.

Life has a funny way of landing in your lap just when you take a seat, tired of chasing it all the time.

If I could snap my fingers and make hurricane Rita go away, I would. But having said that, it's gonna be one bitch of a situation for Bush, don't you think?

If he does a good job it looks like favoritism (oil, home state, buddies!) and like he was asleep at the wheel for Katrina. If he does a crappy job people might, maybe, begin to wonder why we have an idiot at the helm.

I'm a big fan of the silver lining folks, try to work with me here.

"Winston, Look! A Savannah Sapphire!"

              (only one person will ever get that line)

"SMOKE A DOOB FOR VICTORY OR FLUB!!"

"I just caught a whiff of [redacted]'s pussy..."

"You go to Walmart, I want you to go on the Internet, you get me that fan. I want that fan! You're out of your element, Donny!"

Bush says he "takes responsibility" for the failure of the federal government to respond to the Katrina disaster.

Bull. Shit.

What does that mean, anyway? "Take responsibility." Is he resigning? I think criminal court would be more appropriate. Why?

Well, lessee. Where should we start?

Michael Brown, hired under bush as director of FEMA, spent the 90's as commissioner of the International Arabian Horse Association.

Brown padded his resume with bullshit about "overseeing the emergency services division" from 1997 to 1980 when in actuality he was an intern to whom nobody answered.

Brown listed "Outstanding Political Science Professor, Central State University" when he was only a student.

Brown now says he's going to get some well-earned R&R by "go[ing] home [to] walk my dog and hug my wife and, maybe get a good Mexican meal and a stiff margarita and a full night’s sleep."

Poor, poor beleagured "Brownie."

Call me cold-hearted, but I have a very hard time feeling sympathetic for a guy who didn't have the ethics to say "really, I'm not qualified to protect hundreds of thousands of people from natural disasters. I'd rather not turn down such a prestigious position but my ego can take a backseat to my respect for human life."

If obtaining his favorite mixed drink is Mike's biggest concern he can go fuck himself. If there is a god, maybe he'll choke on some ice.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, Mike's boss, "did not allow reporters to ask Brown questions directly and would not respond to the Time magazine report Friday that Brown’s official biography overstated his emergency-management experience."

"Full responsibility" my ass. What a bald-faced joke.

We've been lied to by the federal government about what happened while Bush didn't say a bloody thing. Nothing.

First Bush himself claimed that such a scenario was not foreseen. "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." That's a quote.

I know Bush prides himself on not paying any attention to the news. Maybe he should start. He're a little blast from the past:

"A major hurricane could decimate the region, but flooding from even a moderate storm could kill thousands. It's just a matter of time."

      - Times-Picayune, 2002

Then the government claimed the breach actually occurring was a surprise despite the fact that Bush didn't seem to know until a full twelve hours after it was all over every news outlet. Fuck, turn on your goddamn television you inbred, pampered jackass!

Next we have the assertion that evacuees are being given shelter and food when in actuality they were turned away from shelters they were directed to and, in some cases, stranded for days without food or water. Some were turned back from evacuating to other cities by police with leveled shotguns.

Then the piece de resistance -- the tried and true bureaucratic "blame the victim" tactic. If they didn't leave then it's their own lookout, right?

Do you suppose nobody in this administration was willing to throw themselves on their sword and tell Bush that not everyone has a summer home in the Hamptons? Bush has a habit of killing the messenger.

Next, the good-for-a-belly-laugh "Every person in that convention center, we just learned about that today."

"Today," of course, being September 1, three days after the hurricane hit and at least twelve hours after the evacuees were already there.

A more recent squirm has been the assertion that FEMA is subordinate to the local government.

This is the worst lie of the lot if for no other reason than it insults the intelligence of every person in this country. Anyone with enough brain power to prepare scrambled eggs can figure out that it would make no sense whatsoever to vest the power of disaster management command and control in the people who are going to be hit by the disaster.

In fact the Department of Homeland Security's own "Guiding Principles for Proactive Federal Response" will operate independently to provide assistance, rather than simply supporting or cajoling state authorities.

I'm tired of this. I'm tired of Bush and his lies. I'm tired of people supporting him. Their contortions to explain his idiocy do not even come close to the defense mustered by Democrats on Clinton's behalf.

Want to take honest, sincere responsibility? Resign.
____

"Where's your moral outrage?"
"I don't have any."
"I know."

     - Jon Stewart vs. Carson Tucker on Crossfire

My father was 37 when he passed away, I'm 33. Smoking, check. Drugs, occasionaly, check. One child, separated from mother. Both recovering from crappy job situations but recovering nonetheless. Both into progressive rock. He was into Yes, I'm into Ozric Tentacles ...and Yes.

One teenager each.

I find myself chilling out, smoking, playing Go (he was into Chess), listening to amazing music and just digging life. Him, he did all those things but I don't think my father let himself really relax enough to enjoy it all. For him life boiled down to some amalgam of ego, pride, alpha male-ness and a kind of anachronistic, 60's-era chauvanistic libedo.

Not a good combination with coke. Not a good combination with eating steak and eggs for breakfast all the time when your family has a history of heart disease.

So I guess I'm finding myself in a place I wish my dad could have found too. For most of my life I've felt that I would have been a disappointment to my father but frankly I didn't really care. These days I feel like my father would have been proud of me.

But I still don't care.

I sometimes find myself talking to people in other countries. Sometimes it's playing Go online, sometimes it's calling cellphone support. Regardless, I always feel compelled to apologize for the monkey that, in a sense, represents this country.

(Likely) thousands dead because of Bush's cronyism in his latest round of fuckups.

I used to get excited about the fourth of July. I don't anymore.

What does it take for a guy to get fired around here?

you and I,
we’re two of a kind
I hate to say it but you’ll never relate
what makes you tick?
it makes me smile.

     - pete yorn (just another)

For the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), and for the White House, Michael Brown has become a real problem.

Mr Brown, who was appointed head of Fema by President Bush two years ago, has a background which is open to some question.

He is the former head of the Arabian Horse Association but his official biography says he was also in charge of emergency services in the city of Edmond, Oklahoma, in the late 1970s.

However, a spokesman for the city told Time Magazine that his role was really that of an intern - nobody reported to him.

According to the Washington Post, five of the top eight officials at Fema came to their posts with hardly any experience of handling disasters.

The top three, including Mr Brown, had ties to President Bush's election campaign in the year 2000.

Mr Bush chose last week to single out Mr Brown for public praise.

"Browny, you're doing a heck of a job," he said.
____

Nepotism, meet 5,000 dead folks. Dead folks, meet a doornob, leader of the free world.

"Family values" probably looks a lot different when you're observing it from 30,000 feet.

Jesus. Why can't his plane be the next one to lose all it's oxygen at altitude?

Hey, whose bright idea was it to give the pyro the Zippo? How's he look now, red states?

Is he still your man?

Please describe your current life situation. Structure these vignettes in haiku form. Do not let themes bleed across poem lines.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Addendum: Rabbi: Katrina [is god's] punishment to the U.S. for supporting [Gaza] pullout

Oh, my favorite! Religion; the doubled-edged sword. I don't suppose it ever occured to that idiot Bush that he might someday stand accused of being on the business end of god's wrath.

The ferret is currently having a full-on, standing up boxing match with ...a garbage bag. With leaping. All with the leaping. SO much leaping. Hold on! He's now saving the universe from ...his own ass!

Ferrets, I'm sure ...I hope ...are the only animal that will confuse it's own ass for the enemy.

Wait...

"What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality," she said during a radio interview with the American Public Media program "Marketplace." "And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

     - Barbara Bush on the displaced Hurricane Katrina victims

Those shoes that were given to me? The ones that Stu chewed up a little bit? I just looked 'em up -- they're deerskin. Retail for $265.

Luckily the damage is super light. I can either ignore it or probably have it repaired inexpensively.

I have a week worth of vacation coming up this month. Might save it for February. Sales suck in February. On the other hand I'm really kind of dying to have one right now.

The way my company calculates your pay for you vacation week is to average your last six weeks of pay. So timing can easily cause a hundred dollar swing either way.

Decisions, decisions.

My life is seriously coming together. The last free six hours have been spent cleaning this room. Six hours. Came home, slept for three hours, I've been cleaning ever since. But the business is picking up. The next two days I'll be looking at college classes in the spring. Hell, I might even start paying off all my personal loans this week.

The mice have a new cage. One is terrified. The other is running on the wheel. I'm pretty sure most of the pets in this house have some sort of behavioral disorder. Except maybe the fish.

But how would I know?

Speaking of which, the ferret just learned how to open the door. This means I have to lock it. Complete pain in the ass.

An observation; people are used to displaying dissatisfaction in a largely non-oral way. Body language, facial inflection, etc. If you don't look at someone who is irate, or someone you expect to be irate at what you just said, but you pay strict attention, it throws them RIGHT off.

Really, what are they going to do? Point at their face and grimmace? All you have to do is look at the ground and nod at the appropriate times.

Ok. Time to drag the laundry upstairs, doing the dishes, crashing out. Another six glorious hours of shut-eye.

[House Speaker J. Dennis] Hastert was still reeling from reaction to his comments earlier this week about the storm-ravaged city. "It looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed," he said in an interview with the Daily Herald of Arlington Heights, Ill. Asked whether it made sense to spend billions of dollars rebuilding a city that lies below sea level, he told the paper, "I don't know. That doesn't make sense to me."

Former president Bill Clinton, when told of the remarks said that if he were present when Hastert made the comments, "I'm afraid I would have assaulted him."

Wow. That's no joke, Clinton actually said that.

Have you heard the conservative chattering skulls patting Bush on the back for looking out his jet window a few thousand feet above New Orleans? It's impressive. Bush had better not sit down too quick or else he might break one of their noses.

Have you heard that the Red Cross was repeatedly turned away from providing aid? The reason given is that such help might hinder the exodus?

Did you hear that Condoleeza Rice -- Bush's Secretary of State -- spent the other day playing tennis then capped it off with some New York City boutique shoe shopping? A customer started screaming at her. By nightfall she was headed back to Washington.

Nice.

I know that this administration thinks that accountability is an ephemeral thing. If there is an attempt at accountability too soon, it's finger pointing. If there is an attempt at accountability too late, then it's something you should get over. There is just a moment for accountability. Mr. Speaker, tell me when that moment will be. Tell me precisely when the moment will come for accountability for the failures of our response, for the failures of our planning that have led to the devastation and the hardships that we are see now. And Mr. Speaker, tell me where the line forms to ask hard questions.

I strongly urge everyone to head over to Sisyphus Shrugged for some hardcore spin rebuttal.

From CNN.com

"On Saturday, [Homeland Security Secretary Michael] Chertoff defended the U.S. government's response to the storm, saying that planners did not predict such a disaster ever could occur. Chertoff said government officials did not expect both a powerful hurricane and a breach of levees that would flood the city of New Orleans."

In a more detailed article:

Chertoff, fielding questions from reporters, said government officials did not expect both a powerful hurricane and a breach of levees that would flood the city of New Orleans. "That 'perfect storm' of a combination of catastrophes exceeded the foresight of the planners, and maybe anybody's foresight," Chertoff said. He called the disaster "breathtaking in its surprise."

What a load of history revisionist bullshit. I'd say around 10% of the general population knows that New Orleans sits below sea level. I remember seeing several documentaries in my lifetime detailing the danger posed by a severe storm.

Hell, here's the blurb from Wikipedia:

"Hurricane and flood preparedness in New Orleans has been an issue since the city's early settlement, as the city was built on a delta marsh, many parts of New Orleans are below the level of neighboring water bodies."

"There were many predictions of hurricane risk in New Orleans before the strike of Hurricane Katrina in August 2005. Due to the city's unique geography as well as its levee system and the decrease of surrounding marshland, there have been various plans to mitigate or prevent such an event from being catastrophic, but none were carried out at the time of Katrina. Ongoing strengthening and raising of levees in the area, such as along the outer Mississippi, is primarily intended to contain river flooding."

But wait, there's more:

"A category 5 hurricane directly striking New Orleans was calculated to be a one in 500 year event by the Army Corps of Engineers [1]. The Corps of Engineers, along with Louisiana State University (LSU), and the authorities in Jefferson Parish have modeled the effects and aftermath of a Category 5 strike on New Orleans. The outcome was an unprecedented disaster, with extensive loss of life and property. The key problem is an effect called "filling the bowl", when the hurricane drives water into Lake Pontchartrain, which overwhelms weaker levees bordering Pontchartrain and canals leading to it and flows into the below-sea-level city accompanied by water overtopping the levees along the Mississippi on the south side of the city center."

And Chertoff has the nerve to say "planners did not predict such a disaster ever could occur." What FUCKING universe does the director of Homeland Security live on?

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that members of Bush's cabinet know how to add. The levee system was designed to handle a Category 3 storm. I know this is really complex shit, Mike, but did you know that Category 4 and 5 storms exist?

Mike, are you aware that the number 5 is larger than the number 3?

I can't believe I'm even writing this post.

The second Katrina strengthened to a Category 2, Bush should have been on the horn getting people planning and getting vehicles moving.

Planners didn't predict it, Mike?

Fuck. You.

I actually found someone who has listened to Mos Def's Black on Both Sides more than me. I'm serious.

Saw two eagles today. That was cool.

Ping is literally rearranging my room. Dragging shit to and fro. I think I'm going to change his name again. A pet's name should cook.

His name doesn't cook.

Maybe Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg. "Zorg" for short. Hm. I'll have to sleep on that.

Two more appointments on the books. That's nice. Because I'm broke as hell.

And that's about it. Downloading the latest BSG episode, downloading Stakes is High on request. All while listening to Lindsey Buckingham.

Oh! And my drum chops are improving. Slowly.

CNN.com is reporting that Bush cut $30 million in funding to renovate the levee system in New Orleans.

Do you think they'll let Bush keep his testicles?

I think that impeachments should now come in two flavors. You Get To Keep Your Balls and You DON'T Get To Keep Your Balls.

When hurricane Katarina hit, Bush responded with a fairly authoritative, respectable "we will move heaven and earth"-style speech. I thought to myself, "fine, let Bush have his 9/11esque moment if it means helping the people crushed by the storm." I laugh when people bitch about politicians "playing politics" with issues, because what else do you expect politicians to do? But this is different.

Well apparently not since he's fucking that up too.

Yes I know there are impossible situations, but not so impossible that you can't C-130 sandbags over instead of taking ships up a mangled waterway or diverting helecopters for life-saving efforts. Not so impossible that you can't stop snipers from shooting at a hospital. Dude, bring in the national guard.

Oops. They're gone.

Ain't that a bitch?

Note to our illustrious mis-leader; you could fuck up a ham and cheese sandwich. Choke on a pretzel. You know, while I'm at it, choke on two if it speeds up the process.

I can't wait for a reporter to ask Bush if he feels that our involvement in Iraq has cost lives post-Katarina. It'll never happen because our so-called "free press" is too afraid to ask anything that could be labeled as unpatriotic.

Really, if you were in the Whitehouse press corps, would you risk a job you busted your ass for through college and ten years of shit jobs just to ask the president a pointed question that Americans deserve an answer to?
____

Tonight, just as I was leaving a friend's house to head home, I saw a meteor. Not your average, run-o-the-mill Leonid here, I'm talking close enough and large enough to see the flames and the smoke contrail pass through a 20° swath of sky.

Never seen anything like it. I'm almost certain that it made it to the ground and if my calculations are correct, it hit around mid-Gloucester.

And if the folklore holds true, a friend of mine will do OK. =)

Good luck, baby. I don't know if it'll work out but I'm sure you'll do your best.

*hug on cheek

Just saw this blurb on CTV.ca in regards to the looting in the wake of Hurricane Katrina:

Another woman dismissed the suggestion that she and her husband were stealing from a supermarket as she left with a bag full of items.

"It's about survival right now," she told AP.

"We got to feed our children. I've got eight grandchildren to feed."

The tone is interesting, isn't it? The woman was dismissive.

Would the journalist say the store owner dismissed the idea that lives should come before money? Well, no, because CNN would never pose that question to a shop owner.

And that's interesting to think about.

TFPKAMP (The Ferret Previously Known As Mr. Pink) is now a simpler, more punchy "Ping." I think this name will stick.

And now I leave you with some quotes.

You shoulda dropped trau and been like "yeah, suck it."

     - Anon

Yeah. Gunk happens.

     - Val

Mr. Pink has been given a trial free run of my room. Right now Mr. Pink is making himself VERY well acquainted with every square millimeter of this room not otherwise occupied by matter.

Now he's molesting my bike tools. Oh fuck, if he hides that I'll be screwed. w00t. Tools liberated from the clutches of Mr. Pink. The fish might not be so lucky. I'll be right back...

"The president is not going to meet with us, probably," Sheehan said. "We the people need to influence our congressional representatives, and I hear he's pretty close by," she added, referring to DeLay.

A spokeswoman for DeLay said his schedule was already set and did not plan to change it to meet with Sheehan.

"Mr. DeLay disagrees with those who believe we should give the terrorists the timeline they want and simply cut and run from the war in Iraq," said DeLay spokeswoman Shannon Flaherty.

Yes, and DeLay also disagreed with those who believed the case for war was weak, those who believed the WMD claim was a sham and that we shouldn't have involved ourself in Iraq to begin with.

And he's dogged by ethics charges with new details emerging weekly.

With leadership like this, who needs the Bible belt?

[editor: this was accidentally saved as a draft instead of being posted last night.]

Serve as impartial observer for a few hours, go home, sleep for 4.5h, wake, cycle a few miles to work, work, cycle home, cycle to client's house, install drive. Leave client, head home, burn CD for next client, cycle to client's house, reinstall OS. Client overpays me by 2x. I'm not sure if it's a tip or not, no answer at their phone. I'll call tomorrow. Cycle to store, chat. Cycle to band's first gig. Cycle back to store, coordinate. Cycle back to gig. Get semi plastered, eat some catered food, practice drums, cycle to friend's house. Play go, smoke a tiny bit, swap stories until 3AM. Cycle home, 30mph down the hills, little moon, many stars. Trees part, black skies open, stars everywhere. It's a bit like flying, moving fast with no anchor to the ground and no sense of propulsion. Just stars and wind.

Get home, walk dog, check email. Lament my alarm setting. And here I am, now.

Geez I wish I had time to rip these CDs. Nikka Costa. Fathead. Dag.

Geez I wish I had more time to spend with this ferret. I've tentatively named him "Mr. Pink." Which is better than "Mr. Brown." You all know why.

This cage is way too small for him. I might section off an area of the room and leave him on a tether long enough to reach only within that span. Only put him in the cage at night.

He's a loopy little bastard. When he gets agitated he bares his little fangs and prances around like his nuts are filled with habanero juice. How did this goofy a creature make it through the Darwinian sieve? I've watched a lot of Animal Kingdom growing up and I have never seen any animal kill any other animal by tripping over it. Which seems to be Mr. Pink's specialty.

I miss the people I haven't seen in a while. Tricia. Leah. Keri. Jen.

Playing with the ferret, going to bed. G'night all.

Oh. I have a ferret. I did not know when I woke up this morning that I would be the owner of a ferret. So this is a big surprise.

Long story short, a woman purchased one after being told some "sometimes true but not this time" and some "wtf are you talking about" info by the seller. The woman I purchased the ferret from seemed just a little bit unhinged herself, actually.

I found out by way of a note tacked to the Shaw's Supermarket community bulletin board.

So the little stinker is completely napped out. Way more chill than any ferret I've ever seen. Well, a lot less frenetic. He still manages to shove his nose into everything he can find, just not like his ass is on fire.

And I'm assuming it's a "he." Hold on.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's a male. My best guess is around a year old judging by the teeth.

I'm considering some names. "Castro" is on the top of the list. Succinct, flows off the tongue. Only it doesn't stand for anything personal, and a good name should, so...

"Bush administration officials Tuesday dismissed Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson's call for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez as the remarks of a private citizen, but Venezuela accused Robertson of promoting terrorism."

I can't even tell you how giddy this type of shit makes me.

It makes me happy because it reveals precisely how meaningless the term "terrorist" is.

"Terrorist" is just another way of saying "not us, and not taking our shit."

This is what Robertson said, in part:

"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."

Do I have any Red State readers? I sure as shit hope so. Listen up, knuckleknuts.

Gentle reader, imagine if you will, what might happen if an Arab network aired video of the most well-known Islamic imam in the Arab world suggesting that Bush should just be assassinated, it's better than a war and it should just be done and gotten over with?

And you know Robertson is going to chalk this up to some anti-Christian undercurrent.

Advertisers are courting public school boards (maybe it's the other way around with these trillion dollar military budgets) to name schools after sponsors. We're talking "Nike High."

Settle down, luddite rabble. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking this is bad. Ellen Savitz, chief development officer for the Philadelphia School District, disagrees:

"Universities do it all the time with everything," Savitz said. "They name the lamp and the shade and the light bulb. So kids are pretty used to that."

Waaaaaaaaaaaait a fucking minute.

She's suggesting kids are used to having something happen that they haven't yet experienced?

Marijuana, assassin of youth. Ha. Were it so...

Not to mention; when the fuck is the last time you ever saw an ad, AT ANY LOCATION, on a lightbulb?

Out of the multitude of places that we find advertising today, this sycophantic industry whore manages -- in attempting to illustrate the ubiquitious nature of advertising in colleges -- to name a thing where you are pretty much guaranteed to find nothing other than the company that manufactured that object.

That's fucking genius.

Savitz, I have to ask, so forgive me for being a bit garish here... What did it take? How much did you cost? I have a morbid curiosity about where you place the line. Don't even tell me they got you for a couple of trips to Europe and a photo op with Dubya.

Jesus, Ellen, you should have held out for at least a pair of tickets to the next $10k/seat GOP breakfast.

Teaching English overseas doesn't pay badly but not enough for me to live on and pay child support at the same time. I could get a better job (which I'm still trying to accomplish with varying degrees of enthusiasm) but I'd still have to leave it to teach, so that's not an option.

It occurs to me that I have the next seven years to ...do what? Sounds like plenty of time to earn a degree. I never gave very serious consideration to college because my plans -- regardless of how pathetic I am at following through with them -- did not see me sitting on my ass for a few years.

Well, times have changed. Some possibilities have opened up.

I'm thinking sociology. Why do people do things? Seems like an interesting question.

I'm also facinated behind the organizational behavior or insects, so maybe there's some nexus with sociology there.

Maybe working on AI, though that's probably far more post-grad, long-term. Really, I just want to entertain my ass while I'm waiting. College will be my 7-year walkman.

I never liked the idea of college-for-extra-earning-potential. This is predicated on the tacit assumption that having more money makes your life better. Fuck that.

You've probably heard of the Intelligent Design debate.

Now they've got gravity in their sights. That's right -- Intelligent Gravitation. Because any freshman highschool student can tell you that quantum mechanics cannot be reconciled with gravity as we currently understand it. God of the Gaps, they call it.

Sure, it's satire. But the argument for Intelligent Gravity is just as retarded as the argument for Intelligent Design and for precisely the same reasons.

It's funny because it's true.

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

    - Voltaire, 1730.

"YOU CAN HAVE YOUR BLEEDING HEART DEMOCRACY SO LONG AS MY GARDEN DOESN'T GET DISTURBED IN THE FUCKING PROCESS!!"

    - Anonymous Crawford, TX resident, 2005

"When this government is faced with any critical message, its instinctive reaction is to bully and intimidate the messenger."

Is this:

(a) Ultra-liberal social commentator Noam Chomsky on the Valerie Plame leak or;

(b) the Washington Post on the Soviet blackout of ABC over the Shamil Basayev interview.

Hmmm. It's so hard to tell!

If you guessed (a), you're a winner.

Anyone remember when we got really pissed at al Jazeera during the war because they would broadcast statements made by anti-US forces?

Drug policy out to be a bit more sane. I have a suggestion for all future drug policy. Place this on the ballot next election:

Q. Do you think that people who have smoked crack are better off for having done so?

   ( ) yes ( ) no

Q. Do you think that people who have injected heroin are better off for having done so?

   ( ) yes ( ) no

Q. Do you think that people who have smoked weed are better off for having done so?

   ( ) yes ( ) no

Q. Do you think that people who have snorted coke are better off for having done so?

   ( ) yes ( ) no

Q. Do you think that people who have smoked cigarettes are better off for having done so?

   ( ) yes ( ) no

Then you don't outlaw ANYTHING. You just tax it. The bigger an asshole it's expected to make you, the bigger the tax. Ok, now everyone can smoke weed because it's dirt cheap but it's still considered a beat drug, a ghetto drug because anyone can afford it. The middle class spends all their time trying to be the upper class who can afford the asshole chemicals. They can have all they want.

Good. It's not the fall that kills you, it's the stop.

Watched the meteor shower while damned near incapactitated, chatting with a friend at his new place. How to make a surfboard, the relative power of some 1200cc motorcycle sitting in his living room, Cranston customers ...it was basically themeatic musical chairs for three, four hours.

Got back on the bike, headed home. Fuck, front tyre feels like a jelly donut. Bike is steering like a fat kid walks. I'm riding on a road that has no cars on it. Not one. Three AM and I'm slurring down this abandoned, fully moon-lit road, silent as death, no lights, twenty-five miles per hour.

The following is precisely what went through my head roughly 45 minutes ago while on the way home in the dark:

Why is that shadow so much darker than the others? ...that can't be what it is... Oh man -- it's another dead fishercat. This one is awful small though. Gr, no light. I want to check it out, make sure it isn't slowly dying in traffic. How the hell am I going to do that without risking it panicking, clawing me. Dude, you're blazed, you do NOT want to have to call an ambulance. Go home.

Lessee if I can make out a stick, something at least a little bit long so I can prod it and see if there is a response. ... It's limp, not at all rigid, and it's not a fisher cat. It's a neighborhood housecat. No collar.

Maybe brush it with some of the leaves on the stick, try to provoke a reaction.

Nothing.

I nip behind it's head with thumb and forefinger, carrying it with the other hand and remove it from the road. I place it on the edge of a garden and feel its side. It's warm and there is no heartbeat at all, not even so much as a twitch, and it isn't a fishercat. It's a neighborhood housecat. No collar.

The temperature outside is too low to account for the heat.

At this point I wondered if it died just before I arrived or if it was dying right then. And, as dumb as it sounds, who expected the cat to come around tomorrow.

Why does this shit always happen to me... ... DO NOT even THINK of calling 911 when you're here in your current (*cough) configuration.

I take out my phone, unlock the keypad.

There's a cat that's been run over to within an inch of it's life, you're calling 911. Just hit 911, don't think about it, hit 911 and send. Once you do you know you can't hang up, so...

[ SEND ]

I told them what I found. The dispatcher listened. Politely noted that the cat was probably dead. Which was a seaside, costal resort town way of saying "either it's going to die or it isn't, and which ever of those happens is going to be without the town's intervention." When you shorten the bitstream, you lose resolution. Though the inverse isn't true, is it?

Something I should keep in mind.

The friend I visited is on the oh-crap-this-is-the-end (possibly) portion of his relationship with a girl *I* am also friends with. In fact I met them both by going to their shop so they're both pretty equal in respect to my friendship with either. He's accused of cheating on her. WITH one of his employees BY another employee. Huh.

All he has EVER talked about is pin-thin girls. Rail thin. So thin you can see their ribs thin. And the girl he's being accused of getting with is ...not thin. Not huge, not even large, but not even in the same ballpark as "thin." That's one point.

The second is he and I have discussed subjects which are not usually broached this openly after only knowing someone for a month or two.
This guy will admit to a severe character flaw just as readily as he'd scratch his ass but he was adamant that he never had any more-than-friend contact with the girl.

But who knows. Maybe he's a pathologial liar. I'm lousy at judging character so I don't even try. A friend recently recruited me to lie to his girlfriend on his behalf without being told the little detail about it being bullshit. So I'm reluctant to vouch for anything I cannot verify firsthand.

And if that person is reading this, no, this isn't a dig at you. I'm just in a very similar position again so it bears repeating on a contextual level.

So in the morning the cat will be found. It'll be found lying down on a wooden berm bordering the kind of garden you get when you pay someone else to make you one. I figured it was better than the results if I'd left it in the road. Who knows, maybe the owner will be the one to find it, or be notifed by a neighbor who knows who it belongs to.

Tank and Ruby are about the two greatest cats ever. Can't even imagine them getting hit by a car.

I remember being with my mother around the age of three. We were in a sort of ...Jesus, how to explain? It was almost like a large indoor flea market area but I seem to recall something carnival-like about the place. Popcorn machines, things being set up.

There was an old guy on a bench. I remember this moment only because he was the oldest person I'd ever seen. Maybe ninety, ninety five. And I think he spoke to me, not even sure. My three year-old brain was fixed on how he looked unlike anything else.

So this is 1975. If this guy is 95, that means he was born around 1880.

The year Custer died.

The year the Second Reich began.

The year the phonograph is invented.

The year Louis Pasteur comes up with the idea that germs causes illnesses.

When this guy in front of me was a young man, just out of his teens, Van Gogh dies and the Eiffel Tower is built.

And I'm three. No context, no way of appreciating the scope of his experiences much less actually learning about them.

For example, he would have been around twelve years old when the Carnegie Steel Works labor strike was broken by the state militia. The workers refused to work after Carnegie demanded a wage cut of 18-26%. The demand was rejected, the plant was shut down, the military stepped in to crush the workforce.

Now I wonder about the old guy, and whether he would have chalked up the idea that the government could be so boldly in the service of private industry as the ramblings of a conspiracy nutbag like almost everyone would today?

Been thinking about my father a little bit lately. Always though he was an asshole but it was tempered by the perception that he was a bit of a bohemian too. Hothead, sure. Jealous, definitely. But it seemed people followed his lead instead of the other way around.

And I think that's why I like Marley's Redemption Song so much. I'll forever associate my father with the Beach Boys, the Eagles, Boston and CSN because that's what he listened to. Redemption is just how *I* think his head worked.

Once, when I was about fourteen, I was living with my father in a tenament-style apartment. There was a neighbor, female. Maybe 27? 28? She was pretty short and had hardcore Smokey and the Bandit hair going on, sexy like the girls in a Van Halen concert line in a Van Halen video way.

Try and remember I'm talking 1984 here, not 1994.

Well one day she decides she's going to walk to this bookstore. Wants to know if I want to come along. I'm sure I looked like a goddamn puppy with a full bladder being shown the leash. Later on I would learn the trek is about four miles. It took forever and by the time we got there it was dark but it was summer.

Walked into the coolest bookstore I'd ever seen. Magazines covers I'd never seen before. Hell, it wasn't even really well lit.

That was the first time I'd ever set foot on Thayer St. And I'll probably remember that night until I drop dead.

Would you believe that my favorite Gardenburgers are the veggie and black bean burgers. Ah, hell, they're all awesome except for the portabella and rice. Yick. I actually returned them for a different variety.

Hm. I wonder if the Sox won...

Still floating around 201lbs. That's ok. That's actually more than ok. My diet is still fully in control. It's like my desire to eat doritoes and ring dings has ...ok, maybe not disappeared but they're securely strapped into the backseat of the car. Even when I'm stoned. God bless Gardenburger.

Had my first "real" client today. Two-hour install. $60.

Cleaned the room. Ok, not spotless, but it was getting really disgusting and the second my back was squared away, blammo.

Sold something like four phones today.

Had a work review yesterday, it was "holy crap you kick ass" across the board.

I've won four of the last five games of go I've played (full 19x19). This makes me all sorts of giddy. I'm 21k again.

Back is fixed. Did I mention my back was fixed?

&@!$ing flat tire.