I noticed yesterday that the Windows XP System Monitor was AWOL. Just gone. That is usually a Bad Thing. Then a series of crashes, I said "fuck that" and re-installed my OS.

Now I'm all pimped out with protection. That's what I get for going to an orgy without a rubber. Internet-ly speaking, of course.

Had some sixteen year old mack on me. Cute, too. I know you're skeptical. I was too but her line involved handing me her phone and saying "put your number in here."

"Come back in five minutes."
"You'll give me your number then?"
"Well, no, but I'm busy right now and it's fun to watch you try."

Yes, I really did say that. Sixteen. What is this world coming to?

Speaking of which...

My daughter -- all of eleven -- corrected my pronounciation of "Fiddy." As in "Fiddy Cent." She said pronouncing it "fifty" was for not only incorrect but a neon sign of one's whiteness.

I politely explained that affectation isn't culture and besides, if she was any more white she'd be clear.

She was not amused.

I'm beginning to sound like my fucking grandparents. There is a certain delicious irony in my country-music-loving daughter explaining hip-hop nuance to me.