Tuesday, August 31, 2004

A Day in the Life of Joe Middle-Class Republican
by Donna L. Lavins and Sheldon Cotler

Joe gets up at 6:00 AM to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot with good, clean drinking water because some liberal fought for minimum water quality standards. He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan. Because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares his morning breakfast -- bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

Joe takes his morning shower, reaching for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount that is contains because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and the breakdown of its contents. Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air. He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay, medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer meets these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get worker's compensation or an unemployment check because some liberal didn't think he should loose his home to temporary misfortune.

It's noon time. Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten mortgage and his below market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to dads; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification (those rural Republican's would still be sitting in the dark).

Joe is happy to see his dad, who is now retired. Joe's dad lives on Social Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad, Joe gets back in his car for the ride home. He turns on a radio talk show. The host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't tell Joe that his beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees, "We don't need those big government liberals ruining our lives. After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

In the years to come, Joe's life will change dramatically. The U.S. dollar will be devalued as a result of our huge deficit, our living standards demolished, our standing with the world diminished and our social security gone...all because some conservative republican made sure he could take care of himself and his buddies.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

I've had the most elusive cold ever this past week. Long story short, started in the throat (spent a day there), then moved to the lungs (spent a day there) then decided to camp in my head. It's only enough to needle me, remind me occasionally that it's there, but not actually lay me up. I've been eating super-conservatively, sleeping until I can't sleeps no more.

Hope it leaves soon.

Anyway, what the FUCK is this?:



  • Man creates bike that will accept messages from the internet (he screens them).
  • This bike will then spray water-soluble chalk unto the sidewalk (think; skywriting dots but on the ground).
  • This chalk takes about two weeks to go away naturally (wind, rain) but about two minutes by hose.
  • He was arrested while doing an interview with MSNBC in NYC at the RNC.

    FOR WHAT??

    Microsoft had a campaign a few years back where they sprayed chalk butterflies on the sidewalk and were simply cited and told to remove them. And you know how all those kids spraying non-political messages (read; hopscotch) are being busted left and right.

    I can't decide if this is affirmation that everything is fucked or a call to arms.

    Anyway, I think I have my head back. I've been feeling really ...uh ..."un-me" lately. And not even "someone else," just "not anyone." Lump-ish. Today I woke up feeling quite ...motivated? Hm...
  • Saturday, August 28, 2004

    Couldn't have said it better myself.

    Saturday, August 07, 2004

    Guess what time it is kids? That's right, it's happy fun review time! So get yourself a nice, steaming cup of STFU, ecoute et repete!

    Knights of the Old Republic
    "Best franchise game so far." "Amazing." "Game of the Year material." Please. This isn't the second coming of Christ. This isn't even Phoebe Cates finally showing up at your door buck naked like you've been asking Santa for since you were eleven. This is your standard run-around-and-solve-simple-"find-stuff-quests" and menu-fight RPG. If that's your thing, great. If it isn't, don't think this game is anything but a (admittedly well-done) RPG.

    The Day After Tomorrow
    All movies, at their most fundamental, can be judged on one criteria; whether or not you care about what happens for the duration. Acting, script, direction -- all just subsets of this one core rule. in that single regard I can say the movie delivered. Hokey, yes. Overblown, yes. But I was rooting for the alive people to stay that way and that, to me, is worth approx. two hours of my life. Barely.


    I am a scant 2-4 weeks away from paying all the moving violation fines that stand between me and a license I haven't had in ten (yes, count 'em, ten) years.

    w00t for me.

    </long rant redacted>

    Tuesday, August 03, 2004

    I think I've finally found a band that I don't just enjoy (Boston) or get my head around (Bran Van 3000) or appreciate (Oakenfold) but I fucking downright love.

    The most music-centric people I know personally are goths. Yeah, yeah, scowl if you want to but I know at least three people who truly, seriously treat the scene like it's an honest-to-god in-the-bones sort of phenomena. And while I generally can't stand the genre I do appreciate that kind of connection. When I listen to damn near anything by Radiohead (excepting Creep which I find, at best, darned good) I have this feeling at the pit of my gut. It's the same feeling I get when I wake up next to Ella, though that's not the reason I'm writing this [grin].

    I think Bjork said something along the lines of "music needs to be something that you feel you have to get out of your head or else you'll die." I'm beginning to have that feeling and I'm afraid that I'll fail.

    Monday, August 02, 2004

    Looooving yewwwwww
    is easy 'cuz you're beautiful
    do be do do do dooooooooo

    I have that song in my head.

    Make. It. Stop.

    Damn you Minnie Ripperton. Damn you straight to hell.

    Sunday, August 01, 2004

    So here I am, jaw all on the floor like Tommy and Pamela just walked through the door. Only it's Radiohead doing "Paranoid Android" live and I've never wanted to learn the guitar so damned much.

    Karma is that which we are here to do. So sayeth Ram-Kendra from the last Matrix installment. Is that what I am here to do?

    Does one always "just know" when they're striving against it?