Advertisers are courting public school boards (maybe it's the other way around with these trillion dollar military budgets) to name schools after sponsors. We're talking "Nike High."

Settle down, luddite rabble. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking this is bad. Ellen Savitz, chief development officer for the Philadelphia School District, disagrees:

"Universities do it all the time with everything," Savitz said. "They name the lamp and the shade and the light bulb. So kids are pretty used to that."

Waaaaaaaaaaaait a fucking minute.

She's suggesting kids are used to having something happen that they haven't yet experienced?

Marijuana, assassin of youth. Ha. Were it so...

Not to mention; when the fuck is the last time you ever saw an ad, AT ANY LOCATION, on a lightbulb?

Out of the multitude of places that we find advertising today, this sycophantic industry whore manages -- in attempting to illustrate the ubiquitious nature of advertising in colleges -- to name a thing where you are pretty much guaranteed to find nothing other than the company that manufactured that object.

That's fucking genius.

Savitz, I have to ask, so forgive me for being a bit garish here... What did it take? How much did you cost? I have a morbid curiosity about where you place the line. Don't even tell me they got you for a couple of trips to Europe and a photo op with Dubya.

Jesus, Ellen, you should have held out for at least a pair of tickets to the next $10k/seat GOP breakfast.