Ever have something happen in your life that just comes out of left field, a "wtf just happened?!" moment? This is even past the "my god it's been a bad day, I just want to go to bed so I can wake up to a fresh page" type of event. I don't even know what the fuck to do with myself right now.

I'm quitting Go. I have zero talent for that game. Playing is an exercise in masochism.

In fact I'm really not good at anything, now that I think about it. Can't learn to play the guitar. Can't hold down a job worth a damn. Hell, I can't even find a halfway decent job. I can't muster enough concentration to finish a fucking book, this is my fifth try. And I'm too broke to afford the drugs that will help me concentrate but I'll hate because it turns me into a zombie.

I'm a cash cow for the mother of my daughter.

Seriously. I think it's time to find a room to rent somewhere for the next seven years, plug away at a bachelors and pretty much speak or interact with nobody.