A couple of women ordained themselves priests because they believe the whole "men only" rule is bullshit. The Roman Catholic church views the ordination as having no standing at all, saying that Jesus didn't have any female followers, therefore God means the priesthood for men only.

He didn't hire any blacks, Asians or midgets, either. Are they excluded too?

What's funny is how long they have managed to successfully maintain what amounts to nothing short of full-on sexism.

For everyone dying to hear my latest stance on Martha Stewart, I'll just quote her directly.

Asked about the electronic monitoring device she must wear on her ankle -- she has complained repeatedly that it irritates her skin -- Stewart says she knows how to remove it. "I watched them put it on. You can figure out how to get it off," she is quoted as saying. "It's on the Internet. I looked it up." Her publicist's eyes "widened with alarm" when Stewart made the remark.

What a strange profession, PR agents. They're like bullshit shepherds, guiding all the ticking time bombs through the court of public opinion minefield. Oh, fuck. You can't say that. It doesn't matter if it's true or not, it matters whether you'll make less money if you say it.

It's hard to reconcile our self-image as moral and god-fearing nation with an unabashed cult of meritocracy -- the more you make, the more you're worth as a human. The part about not having other idols before him comes to mind.

I even get depressed about it from time to time, but you know what pulls me out? Some act of serendipity, something out of the blue that suggests we're not completely fucked yet.

This week it was seeing the cover of GQ. Apparently Jessica Simpson represents everything great about this country.

It's funny because it's true.