Right now my stomach is in a kind of loose knot.

Earlier in the day, while walking in the night rain, I had my first-ever sort of mild panic attack. The kind of feeling you get when you hydroplane. That first second. Passed almost immediately. But everything in my body said "get out of this country."

And not in that intellectual sort of "this country blows, let's take a stand" kind of way.

It was more like "you have ten seconds to leave before it blows up."