Bek: What's that song?
Dad: Lemmie see ...uh, no, you can't listen to that one.
Bek: Why not?
Dad: It's about a girl who goes to a party and accidentally eats a whole bag of shrooms.
Bek: Shrooms?
Dad: Yeah, mushrooms.
Bek: [confused look] Did she have an allergic reaction?
Dad: [Pepsi shoots out nose]

My daughter has been hereby commanded to stay eleven forever.