GALVESTON, Texas (AP) -- A woman blames the devil, and not her husband, for severely burning their infant daughter in a microwave, a Texas television station reported. Eva Marie Mauldin said Satan compelled her 19-year-old husband, Joshua Royce Mauldin, to microwave their daughter May 10 because the devil disapproved of Joshua's efforts to become a preacher.
Sounds like a rational defense to me. OK, maybe "rational" is not the right word. Perhaps the phrase "consistent with the Bible" is more accurate.
Hey, if God can command Abraham to offer up Issac, his son, to be burned to death, are we to believe that Satan is capable of less?
Since we obviously can't prove that the devil did or didn't put Mr. Maudlin to the task of microwaving his daughter, I recommend the judge pray about it and base his verdict on what god tells him.
And right after the verdict is read, why don't we split the country into two; one side secular, one side the faithful. You can keep the judge, Mr. Maudlin and we'll even throw in half of the space program if (and only if) you make Ralph Reed an astronaut.
Sure, space exploration is important but a faith-based shuttle launch would be worth its weight in gold.
Former President Jimmy Carter has been taking aim at the current chimp saying, "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history."
White House spokesman Tony Fratto indicated that Carter was becoming "increasingly irrelevant" for expressing these views.
Amber Wilkerson, Republican National Committee spokeswoman, said it was hard to take Carter seriously because he also "challenged Ronald Reagan's strategy for the Cold War."
They say victory has a hundred fathers but defeat is an orphan.
We told you repeatedly that Bush's plans for Iraq were fatally flawed, we told you specifically why they were certain to fail and we have been right on every single count.
Carter is right, Miss Wilkerson and your man, the President you are paid to flak for, the sole director of the war who has had precisely ZERO restrictions placed on him for four years -- 1,500 days -- the "decider" who surrounded himself with sycophants assuring us and the complicit so-called "free press" that the war would be simple, the war would be quick and the war would pay for itself, the President who stumbled into Iraq without a plan (but no lack of swagger), the very epitome of Southern Baptist prayer and political might, the alpha and omega of right-wing Conservatism fucked up every single aspect of the war possible to fuck up.
And yet TO THIS VERY MOMENT, you continue to support him Miss Wilkerson.
When you get past the social stigma there's scant difference between Tony Snow et al and a prostitute, I think. Granted, one has something coming out of their mouth while the other has something coming in, but the prostitute has the distinct moral advantage of at least realizing they're for sale.
So tell me, what is it that makes you imagine your president -- much less you, his dutiful and oh-so-willing mouthpiece -- is taken seriously by the country he ostensibly leads?