Still very, very sick.

I have lots of personal stuff to talk about but none of it is interesting to anyone but me.

On a political note, Bush has managed to turn the NSA spying thing into a political war. That tact works so well for him. What I can't seem to get my head around is how Republicans can be for this. Not NSA wiretaps per se, even I'm for them provided that they're used against bona fide terrorists with a warrant. I'm talking about warrantless taps. That should scare conservatives silly.

I went through some old newsgroups posts. Conservatives were screaming about attempts by Clinton to expand wiretapping capability legally.

What I wonder is how likely (or unlikely?) is it that terrorists weren't the only ones on that list?

I could go on for hours about this subject. I won't. I'm going to bed.

Latest show is up.

Last night a DJ saved my life.

No. Seriously.

Stayed home sick. Slept all day. That was nice. Boss didn't even get mad at me. Probably because it's been a while since I've called in sick.

This is going to be the most boring post ever. I'm only doing it because I never post anymore. =)

Umm. House of Greasa^M^M^M^M^M^MPizza lived up to its name today.

Hm. What else. Working on the latest podcast. Bush is now spying on Americans. Says he's going to keep doing it, too. Says Congress gave him the authority when they gave him the OK to use military force in Afghanistan. ...

What?

It's both complex and not very complex but even the Republicans are looking at this one a bit cockeyed. But if you're not into deep political scandal, try this on for size.

I have a coworker that is an idiot. He has a habit of making stunningly inappropriate remarks to the customers. Like telling "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?" jokes and commenting on which parts of his body do and do not have hair.

We've dubbed him Leisure Suit Larry. Which he'd look like if Leisure Suit Larry had Phil Specter's head.

The new mouse has the largest eyes I've ever seen on one.

The old fish really could use a new filter.

Apparently, me drinking a whole bottle of wine has become a sort of holiday tradition in this house. I'm expected to perform again next week.

The ferret needs a new home.

And I need some sleep.

Latest show is up.

A look at the United States policy of "extraordinary rendition" (aka: outsourcing torture).

This is your country, kids.

Who Would Jesus Torture?

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Work has been pretty boring. Picking up a bit. This will be my first decent paycheck in a very, very long time. Plus a few private repair jobs kicking around. I plan on getting some winter clothes, squaring away my Christmas gifts (yes, I'm getting gifts for a very small number of people) and I even suspect I'll have some left over to pay bills.

If only it were like this all the time.

Ella got a new job. She didn't just get a new job, she got a good job. Which has me feeling like a bit of an asshat. Her job is better than mine. And she's a girl.

*dives for cover.

Tank is making a serious bid for the House Mouser belt. Two this week.

Most of my spare time has been spent working on my radio/podcast show. Twenty hours or so invested just in collating data for the latest one; Extraordinary Rendition. McCain introduced an amendment to the defense spending bill which would require -- get this -- that we make it illegal to outsource torture to other countries. Ninety senators voted for it. Nine did not.

I'm not sure which is more amazing; that ninety senators agreed on something or that nine senators think it's a bad idea. Bush says he'll veto it.

But we don't do torture.

So yeah. Spending three days reading up on the finer points on how and when our government has systematically and repeatedly drowned innocent people to within an inch of their life without any court oversight can really take a guy's spirts down a peg.

But other than that, not so bad.

is it asking too much to be given time
to know these songs and to sing them
is it asking too much of my vacant smile
and my laugh and lies that bring them

as the stars are going out
and this stage is full of nothing
and the friends have all but gone
for my life my god I'm singing

     Lacuna Coil ("Stars")

(to, for and about a peson who will never read this)

Latest show is up.

I had a dream last night that I met Jeanine Garofalo and she had a crush on me.

I won't go into the sordid details but suffice it to say [in voice of Simpsons Comic Book Guy], "Best. Dream. Ever."

I believe that there is no God. I'm beyond atheism. Atheism is not believing in God. Not believing in God is easy -- you can't prove a negative, so there's no work to do. You can't prove that there isn't an elephant inside the trunk of my car. You sure? How about now? Maybe he was just hiding before. Check again. Did I mention that my personal heartfelt definition of the word "elephant" includes mystery, order, goodness, love and a spare tire?

So, anyone with a love for truth outside of herself has to start with no belief in God and then look for evidence of God. She needs to search for some objective evidence of a supernatural power. All the people I write e-mails to often are still stuck at this searching stage. The atheism part is easy.

But, this "This I Believe" thing seems to demand something more personal, some leap of faith that helps one see life's big picture, some rules to live by. So, I'm saying, "This I believe: I believe there is no God."

Having taken that step, it informs every moment of my life. I'm not greedy. I have love, blue skies, rainbows and Hallmark cards, and that has to be enough. It has to be enough, but it's everything in the world and everything in the world is plenty for me. It seems just rude to beg the invisible for more. Just the love of my family that raised me and the family I'm raising now is enough that I don't need heaven. I won the huge genetic lottery and I get joy every day.

Believing there's no God means I can't really be forgiven except by kindness and faulty memories. That's good; it makes me want to be more thoughtful. I have to try to treat people right the first time around.

Believing there's no God stops me from being solipsistic. I can read ideas from all different people from all different cultures. Without God, we can agree on reality, and I can keep learning where I'm wrong. We can all keep adjusting, so we can really communicate. I don't travel in circles where people say, "I have faith, I believe this in my heart and nothing you can say or do can shake my faith." That's just a long-winded religious way to say, "shut up," or another two words that the FCC likes less. But all obscenity is less insulting than, "How I was brought up and my imaginary friend means more to me than anything you can ever say or do." So, believing there is no God lets me be proven wrong and that's always fun. It means I'm learning something.

Believing there is no God means the suffering I've seen in my family, and indeed all the suffering in the world, isn't caused by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent force that isn't bothered to help or is just testing us, but rather something we all may be able to help others with in the future. No God means the possibility of less suffering in the future.

Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family, people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-O and all the other things I can prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have.

     - Penn Gillette