And here is a message to all those Republican women out there who feel that embryos are precious lives that shouldn't be destroyed in stem cell research: feel free to go ahead and implant one.

Put your uterus where your mouth is. It is your duty to have these children lest they become unstable and die.

So really, life begins when you're just thinking about fucking someone.

Which is how Republicans like it. The last time Democrats took semen this seriously it was Monica and her dry cleaner.


    - Bill Maher, tonight, as verbatim as I could manage