An open letter to Apple.

I'm posting this online because there is literally no support@apple.com and the local Apple store staff were unable to direct me to any means of contacting Apple electronically. I can purchase a one-off appointment with support but there's no point in throwing good money after bad.

To whom it may concern,

Sometime around mid 2007, I purchased a 13" Macbook. After thirty years of working exclusively with mainframes and various PC architectures, this was my first Mac, ever, and have recommended it to more people than I can possibly count.

These days, we have three Macs in the house; a iBook G4, a 13" MacBook and a brand new 13" MacBook Pro, purchased by my wife for her academic work just over one month ago.

The keyboard assembly to my MacBook has been replaced due to cracking. This is not a complaint, I think it's great that Apple is covering a known defect years after the standard warranty has expired.

Having said that, I just discovered that while my MacBook was actually inside its warranty period, I was misled by your staff regarding a problem which I am now, unfortunatley, stuck with.

About eight months after purchasing the machine, I discovered my mouse button was sticking. It had no "throw" left. Sometimes the effect was minor; there was less "click" to each press and sometimes the effect was far more consequential; the mouse pointer would grab files or menus without me using the mouse button at all.

I returned to my local Apple store (Northshore Mall, MA) on two occasions, describing my problem in detail. Both times I was met with confused looks and shrugs. It was very hard to actually demonstrate the problem since the issue appeared merely cosmetic most of the time.

Just today I read online that the problem is known, was known and is caused by a swelling battery. Sure enough, I remove the battery and the mouse button has full functionality again.

Had someone from your store identified the problem at the time I reported it, which I explained in detail, I would not need to spend $129 in order to replace the battery. Granted, this battery does not hold much of a charge after three years but since I'm always plugged in to power and never using the battery for any length of time, its only function has been to power the computer long enough for me to replace the cord that may have fallen or been pulled out.

It's my first lousy experience with an Apple product or Apple Customer Care to date.

Sincerely,
Jason Desjardins
jason@pho7o.com
serial: W87271AGYQ7

Dear Annoying Legal Firm,

The bill you are collecting on has already been paid. The whole $5.48.

We've also been in contact with various entities regarding this bill, including the hospital and people representing the hospital, to correct this matter. Everyone we speak with seems to find the copy of the check just fine, but the demands to pay this already-paid bill haven't stopped.

You are but the latest.

Unfortunately, paying $5.48 I don't owe simply to be rid of you, while probably sane, just isn't in my nature. Hopefully you can appreciate my position.

Enclosed is a copy of the bill and a copy of the cashed check.

If you require further assistance correcting this mistake, I will be happy to help at the rate of $100.00/hr, 1-hour minimum, net 30.

Sincerely,
Jason Desjardins

Brief intro for all my non-political friends...

Mary Matalin is a republican flack. James Carville is a democratic flack. They're both assholes.

Having said all that, Mary Matalin slips up, calls 'em teabaggers live on CNN, Carville just starts giggling.

The look on Matalin's face is f'ing priceless. I could watch this clip all day.

Cheer up bro. Srsly.

It's Cheer Up Keanu Reeves Day. Which I think is excellent.

My daughter has discovered Scissor Sisters. lol.

So ...some of you might recall that a few months back I found a Dyson DC18 on the side of the road, registered it, then sent it in for repair for free.

Well it took about 2.5 months. We'd call the repair shop every 1-2 weeks, apparently Dyson didn't have the parts, they were on back-order, etc. Eventually we got the vacuum back and weren't too pissed at the long wait because, hey, we got a $200 vacuum for free, right?

Earlier this week I get a note from UPS saying they had a package for me. Weird, I'm not expecting anything.

So yesterday I pick it up, open it, it's a Dyson DC18.

Near as I can tell, someone in the loop eventually said "just send them a refurb." At some point the original machine gets into some queue to get fixed and eventually sent back to us.

So now I have two Dyson DC18's for which I've paid precisely nothing. w00t.

My sixteen-year hiatus from televisions came to a crashing halt today. 32", which I think is lolsmall, but Elia thinks is lolbig, is now attached to a Wii. In my living room.

The controls are just sick. I can do archery just fine but I toss a frisbee like a Rainbow brigade, apparently.

"That was not a love boat. That was a boat of hatred. It was not a peaceful flotilla. The [armed] soldiers who boarded the ships [in international waters] were attacked by [peaceful people defending themselves with the only weapons they had available to them.]"

FYP, Netanyahu.

It's kind of like a David and Goliath story. I dunno, maybe that should strike a chord with you...

Check me out.



First real job I've had in ~8 years. PHP, jquery, JSON (ironically enough) and Ajax.

I'm currently loving life.

Ella: Did I mention I've finally figured out what the fuck I'm going to do with my life?!

Me: Negative. Selling small children on 3rd world markets?

Ella: No, but now I wish I'd thought of that... I'm going to be a art therapist! Which means I have a metric fuckton of schooling to do.

Me: You mean ...ask paintings shit like "tell me about your mother?"

Ella: Believe it or not, you and Jim had the exact same smartass response. :P

You hear the new Droid is going to be called the Droid Incredible? If they're gonna give it a name, why can't they make it cool like ...Droid Pirate Roberts?

- overheard

When my father died, he was 37 years, 9 months and 16 days old.

Yesterday I turned 37, 9 months and 16 days old.

Starting yesterday my daughter was living here, in Troy, though the duration is currently up for grabs.

The universe has a sense of humor.

Best crank call you'll ever hear; kid looking for a demo company to take out her school.

Extremely cool. Know your roots.