I'll be your potiwan!

I'd have a hard time introducing this story any better than MSNBC.com:

Each class at the Idaho Police Officer Standards and Training Academy is allowed to choose a slogan that is printed on its graduation programs, and the class of 43 graduates came up with "Don't suffer from PTSD, go out and cause it."

Roland S. Martin, in a commentary featured on CNN.com, whines:

"This whole push to remove Christ from the Christmas season has gotten so ridiculous that it's pathetic."

Good point. It took two centuries (and just a little bit of plagiarism) to put him there in the first place. Call me nuts but ...I'd have thought the drive to drag it out of its current commercial morass would make you happy.

Look, why can't you just be happy to say whatever the fuck you want to say and worry your pious little head about what I say or don't say. I have never, in my entire 35 years, heard someone receive a "Merry Chrismas" and get offended.

Not once.

So take your imaginary war culture (theism, terrorism, drugs) and stick it up your puckered, self-righteous chimney.

Oh. And Merry Christmas.

"I didn’t get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn’t have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives. […] I hope we answer the alarm clock and take this nation back for Christ."

Mike Huckabee in 1998 at the National Pastors’ Conference

From an email that's making the rounds. Thanks to Ella for pointing it out.

'Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land
Not a Christian would shut up
'Bout their stupid demands

"Oh, help us!" they shouted in panicky voices
"These days when we shop there are holiday choices!
The children can't sing in their schools about Jesus,
except when they do, but it still doesn't please us

To hear about Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too.
They should know God does not hear the prayer of a Jew!"
Yet the schools and the stores would not listen, it seemed.
And the poor Christian zealots were getting quite steamed.

Some people remained puzzled by this position
They were mad stores stopped cheapening their religion?
"Don't they know mass appeal drives up sales left and right?
We though conservatives were pro-business types."

But the right-wingers screeched "It's barbaric! It's pagan!"
After prayers to twin portraits of Jesus and Reagan
Sure, the stores put up wreaths and play just Christmas music
But exclude the word 'Christmas'and watch everyone lose it.

Belligerent, haughty, but most of all pissed
They whined of a "war" that just doesn't exist.
Now Hannity, Coulter, now Limbaugh and Gibson
On Bill O and bloggers from Reno to Lisbon!

"We will fight through the wires 'bout displays at the mall
So write really bad parodies and forward them to all!"
Oh the Christians, they shouted! Oh the rest, how they scoffed!
"Just where in the hell do these assholes get off?"

The displays in the shop are the owner's decision,
As for schools don't forget there is no state religion
So you celebrate Christmas, and I might do the same
We will try to enjoy it, even though you're a pain
But you know what I'll say if you won't take my hints:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZEALOTS, YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE GRINCH!

"There are some who may feel that religion is not a matter to be seriously considered in the context of the weighty threats that face us. If so, they are at odds with the nation's founders."

Mitt Romney, explaining his Mormon faith.

"...no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."

Article 6 of the United States Constitution