From an email that's making the rounds. Thanks to Ella for pointing it out.

'Twas the month before Christmas
When all through our land
Not a Christian would shut up
'Bout their stupid demands

"Oh, help us!" they shouted in panicky voices
"These days when we shop there are holiday choices!
The children can't sing in their schools about Jesus,
except when they do, but it still doesn't please us

To hear about Kwanzaa and Hanukkah too.
They should know God does not hear the prayer of a Jew!"
Yet the schools and the stores would not listen, it seemed.
And the poor Christian zealots were getting quite steamed.

Some people remained puzzled by this position
They were mad stores stopped cheapening their religion?
"Don't they know mass appeal drives up sales left and right?
We though conservatives were pro-business types."

But the right-wingers screeched "It's barbaric! It's pagan!"
After prayers to twin portraits of Jesus and Reagan
Sure, the stores put up wreaths and play just Christmas music
But exclude the word 'Christmas'and watch everyone lose it.

Belligerent, haughty, but most of all pissed
They whined of a "war" that just doesn't exist.
Now Hannity, Coulter, now Limbaugh and Gibson
On Bill O and bloggers from Reno to Lisbon!

"We will fight through the wires 'bout displays at the mall
So write really bad parodies and forward them to all!"
Oh the Christians, they shouted! Oh the rest, how they scoffed!
"Just where in the hell do these assholes get off?"

The displays in the shop are the owner's decision,
As for schools don't forget there is no state religion
So you celebrate Christmas, and I might do the same
We will try to enjoy it, even though you're a pain
But you know what I'll say if you won't take my hints:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU ZEALOTS, YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE GRINCH!