Randy Couture has always been my favorite UFC fighter because he doesn't talk shit, he just shows up and (usually) kicks a lot of ass. And that time Couture (literally) spanked Ortiz for all the yapping he did pre-match didn't hurt his cause any.

But ...last I knew he retired. I just watched his UFC 68 fight vs. Syliva fight.

Holy crahp.

Anyway...

So yeah, McCain wants to be a strict constructionist on the Constitution.

But let's go back in time to June of 2005; Raich v. Ashcroft before the Supreme Court.

Raich argues that the Constitution specifically states that the powers not granted to the federal government belong to the state and while one of those rights enumerated is the ability to control interstate commerce, it says nothing at all about intrastate commerce. And it's under the guise of regulating interstate commerce that the federal government outlaws marijuana.

But Raich grows it herself. The government has no authority, Raich argues, since there is no interstate commerce involved.

This is the part where you should sit down because if you didn't already know, you're going to think I'm making this shit up.

The government argues that if people are allowed to grow it themselves, then marijuana consumers won't have to buy it from drug dealers. Nevermind the pesky little detail that this a thing the governmen spends billions trying to accomplish themselves. So if Raich et al don't have to buy it from the street, demand will naturally go down. If the demand goes down, the price will go down and since the market affected is the illegal drug market, which in turn takes place largely across state lines, the government claims this gives it the purview to regulate home-grown cannabis.

Clear as mud, right? No, the Supreme Court thinks this is a perfectly rational line of thought.

But wait, it gets better.

This hearkens back to Wickard v. Filburn in which a farmer argued that the wheat which his family consumed was not taxible since it wasn't sold and therefore didn't qualify as interstate commerce. The government argued that since he wasn't buying it on the open market, the action was indeed affecting prices. And by that same contorted mental judo, concluded their right to tax a snail fart if that odor drifted into another state.

Just to be clear, Justice Antonin Scalia -- a loyal Conservative who once said "I always used to laugh at Wickard" -- voted with the majority in Raich v. Ashcroft.

So would it be too much to expect our free, predictable, incompetent and feckless media to ask McCain a simple question? "If you're for a more strict interpretation of the Constitution when it comes to abortion, would you also be for a strict interpretation on the government's regulation of marijuana that could not ...regardless of how stoned you might make yourself ...be understood as 'interstate?'"

Probably.